New job

I found it guys, I found a job I actually love! You know, that job you wake up everyday looking forward to give more of yourself to, create, innovate, and process improve the shit out of EVERYTHING. Whoa there Tiger, yes I know, it is MY OCD and impulsivities for which I am currently ironing out via therapy. I could have deleted it, but this is ME.

What else have I been up to? Well, regardless of how much I have going on, my life attracts chaos. There, I said it. A day with calm and peace just isn’t my style. Why not create just one headache in a 24-hour period, or more?! It’s all good though. I am really getting good at living with a chronic illness tbh – my attitude has changed (I think).

REACT vs. Be PROACTIVE?

So, a piece of advice my leader taught me when I worked as a Cast Member for Walt Disney World was how much better it was to be proactive versus reactive. Throughout my life, I have been known for my reactions to things. I can tell because there is always this overly dramatic experience that really just could have been avoided all together, aka a tantrum. This is something I have learned recently about myself. In Therapy, I have been learning a lot about myself, who I am, inside and out, and why I do the things I do. My passion, often misperceived, is derived from never being heard as a child. I had to learn how important it was to work on that specific detail versus involve and/or hurt people I care about. No need to repeat the cycle, my kids don’t need to go through what I did. Much love to my Parents, they did the best they could at that time.

Anyway – this new job has woken me up! I ‘feel myself’ again! The decisions I make daily as a Project Manager feel so much better at this job. My previous job had so much red tape, and as a Project Manager that can feel suffocating! No puns to my former employers as I have become who I am today because of those experiences. I just know what I deserve and I finally feel like I am at a good place for now. This is also a good organization to build the kind of experience needed to ultimately become the Executive I want to be! You should always aspire to do what YOU have always wanted to do, it is possible – just do it!

Being unemployed for over a year, courtesy of the pandemic, helped me realize a lot about my life and where I see myself in the future. I want to succeed and LIVE MY BEST LIFE, but I also want my children to have the BEST future once I am gone. That’s growth, right? I have come to terms with my lifespan notation as a chronic illness warrior, I can handle the reality now.

Anyway, so I’ve been too busy working to write on my blog – shame on me when I have SO much to share. I have, however, kept up with my Instagram page. If you are feeling any sort of word vibes, head over to my page.

I want to share my story on video. Any amazing video creators out there? I do feel like we, who feel the need to empower and be empowered, should do so without limitation. This life is short. Our goals are ours. We either conquer them or continue keeping them as thoughts. The time is now. After the year our nation has had it, we owe it to our future. Why not, right?!

Thank you for listening. I promise I’m back, but I am ready for so much more.

What she didn’t know…

Growing up I was always left out of the loop. Like, there were no family meetings, no “hey, by the way” moments – unless it was to tell me something to do. I grew up in silence because, as a Parental child, it is the only way I knew how to be. While I had my moments of tantrum and anger as a child and/or teen, I was relatively the one who went along with everything. Things that, as a parent now, I would never imagine putting my children in that situation.

My parents did the best they could, and I should be grateful. I get that. There can only be so much “Woe is me” in your 20s so that once you reach your 30s, you’re basically defining who you are so that by the time you reach your 40s, you can live at your prime and get your 2nd chance at life. Travel more, see more of the world (hopefully without a mask on), make memories and create a sacred home filled with love – endless love. However, at what point do I get to talk about how much SO much fucked me up mentally to where now, as an adult, I realize SO many foundational pieces I missed out on learning growing up?

It just amazes me how much now, as an adult, I have learned about how much I didn’t know. Perhaps my parents were protecting me by not sharing things with me. Maybe they wanted to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and not inconvenience me. Whatever the case, the critical moments of my life that were foundational to my future were missed.

Now, as a mom and wife, I strive daily to ensure I don’t miss out on those foundational moments with my children. Like how I work daily to teach my children of the future by exemplifying an intellectual conversation without yelling and arguing – sometimes.

Evolving as a woman during this self-discovery phase feels revitalizing. I feel like I sweat less over the drama. I choose my battles and opt out of the bullshit. It’s amazing how as we age, the bullshit becomes less enticing. I am happy for this time because while it has felt like a vicious cycle, it has set me up to actually enjoy the remainder of my life the way I deserve to best.

Peace for all…