It gets old

I have never had the best relationship with my Parents. We have never really seen eye-to-eye per say. My mom led a totally different life, never believes she is wrong, and I can count with one hand the number of times my Mother has hugged me, kissed me, or even told me she loved me. My Father has always been in and out of my life. Now that I am a Mother, I can put into perspective my synopsis of how my Parents make me feel.

One thing that is so important includes being the change. The subtitle of my Blog is, “Break the Cycle, Be the Difference”. The reason being, I have spent the majority of my life finding ways to go the route contrary to my Parents due to their examples and lack of support for me in my life. Yes, they’ve made strides to be there for momentous occassions, but it has never felt real. It has never felt pure. My Parents have always had another agenda. It is what it is, I’m almost 36 (it’s my Birthday month haha).

IG: Stimulate_Mental

You know how everyone has a pet peeve? Well, mine are liars. Both my Parents made a lot of empty promises to me growing up. As a Parent myself now, I can imagine that initially the promise was made with every intention on fulfilling it. However, I feel like honesty is the best policy at all times, whether in your personal life and especially your kids.

You have to live with some degree of integrity. I have worked so hard to achieve the reputation that I do today. That isn’t because I just wanted the attention. It’s because I want to always be remembered as someone always willing to lend a helping hand.

I digressed… I guess it just pisses me off when my Parents begin to implement those false promises with my kids, their grandchildren. Don’t lie to my kids. You lied to me so much in my lifetime, shit on me all day for all I care. But, do not repeat the cycle with my children as that to me is where I have to cross the line. I had to recently confront one of my Parents about it and I am glad I did. It is not okay, and if my Parents want to maintain a relationship with their grandchildren, then I think there is a degree of respect, honesty and integrity that they should maintain themselves.

Okay – rant over.

First day of School…

This school year looks a lot different than previous years. My boys started their school year from home this year. I am officially in the business of homeschooling my kids. I am grateful that my kids love each other more than they hate each other because they spend every break so far hanging out together. Technology issues are something I don’t believe my school district pondered thoroughly. I understand all the mass chaos around Teachers not wanting to go back on campus for their own health and safety, trust me – I get it. As a working mom who works remotely, it is only because I do that I am able to keep my kids home.

Honestly, my husband and I talked through our situation and decided it was best to keep our boys home. I can’t imagine what the families went through who either don’t have a 2-salary household or just don’t have the means other than to send their child(ren) to school. Last week, when I was rushing to prepare my kids for their first day school, it hit me how blessed I am. I realize a lot of shit that I complain about, but not as much as I used to because I realize how much we have compared to others, and I never want to take that for granted. So many people are struggling with the Pandemic, the Coronavirus, not knowing how they should have their child’s education delivered, working remotely with 101 distractions, the list goes on…

I’m sure moms alike can agree that the world only hits the fan when we are seated, calm and collected. The moment we log in to our first morning meeting, one of the dogs comes back in with their paws muddy. My OCD kicks into overdrive, and I obsessed about wanting to clean the mess until I actually do. I swear, I hope my boss sends me those bluetooth headphones she mentioned because I could do so much more during this time. They’re picky about us logging into meetings from our computers versus our cellphones, or else I’d be all over that.

Going back to the meaning of this post, I just still want my kids school experience to be like it was, not like it is. I miss buying school supplies with them, meeting their teacher and signing up for everything we could probably waste our money on. I enjoy being a part of the PTA, I still hope for Teachers to get paid more, for students to feel more inclusive and embrace cultural diversity, etc. I hope for a lot right now that just isn’t happening.

My PSA for this post is a wish that every student is given adequate if not more than necessary to feel fully supported learning from new platforms, with technology that isn’t cheap, trying to manage multiple applications as Teachers who are used to developing a lesson plan and cutting out their own custom figurines to entertain their students. School is different, and I just want to give my kids a good homeschool experience!

If any parents want to share insight on what it’s like to Homeschool, I’m all ears!